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Post by Gideon on Aug 10, 2006 16:00:20 GMT -5
I know we had this thread before, but it's been a long time since anyone posted in it, and if I dug it up again, it would be excavation (and I don't want a warning.)
So here's a new thread to post your favourite quotes. They can be from anything - a TV show, a book, a movie, or something a well-known-person has said. Or even an ordinary person.
So here's a few of my own:
From Frasier
(Scene - Frasier and Niles have bought a restaurant, and opening night has turned into a disaster, with staff getting injured, and the rest of them walking out. Niles and Daphne have been forced to take up the cooking in the kitchen; Frasier enters to find them arguing with Roz.)
Frasier: All right, stop it! Get a grip. You're not being asked to do anything that none of us hasn't done before in our own kitchens, in our own homes. Now quick, Niles, kill five eels!
From Cheers
(Scene - Lilith has just announced that she's leaving.)
Lilith: Well, I'm off. I don't know what the future holds. Whatever hapens, I only hope I can realise my full potential. To acquire things the old Lilith never had.
Carla: Like a body temperature?
Lilith: That's very good, Carla. Incidentally, I've taken your little wisecracks for a few years now, you hideous gargoyle, and if you ever open that gateway to hell you call a mouth in my direction again, I'll snap off your extremities like dead branches and feed them to you at gunpoint.
I've seen the episode that that quote comes from, and hearing Lilith say that to Carla, still in her trademark cold, monotonous voice, was GREAT.
From Taxi:
(Scene - Alex is explaining to Jim why he said some insulting things about him)
Alex: Jim, when I said you were a flake, I meant you'd some weird things.
Jim: Name one.
Alex: You lived in a condemned building for five years.
Jim: You're confusing flakiness with style.
Alex: You kept a horse named Gary in your bedroom.
Jim: Not everyone has a guest room, Alex.
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Post by Islander on Aug 10, 2006 17:49:49 GMT -5
...and if I dug it up again, it would be excavation (and I don't want a warning.) MC would never give you a warning - if he did, he'd have a mutiny on his hands .
Favourite quotes, favourite quotes. Well, for a start, there's the one in my sig. Really love that one. To quote it in full: Miss Maitland: You’re afraid of your own shadow, Marcie. So Mr. Eldritch is a fool with his money, why should we complain? Marcie: Then he doesn’t give you the creeps? Something is afoot. Miss Maitland: Oh Marcie Hatter, you’re a case study in paranoia. Marcie: And quite right too! Paranoia’s an intelligent form of common sense. None of us knows what’s going on around us any of the time. I mean look at this: [goes and flicks light switch] how many people know how a simple light switch works? We’re all in the dark, and it’s getting darker. Basically, any text from Dark Season is fandabulistic. RTD's best work ever. Here are a few more of my favourites: [Marcie is climbing through a ventilation shaft to escape Pendragon]Marcie: Marvellous - I'm a cliché! Miss Maitland: Marcie, I said enough questions! Oh, unless I can ask you one. Marcie: Just the one. Miss Maitland: Why the canoe paddle? [referring to a canoe paddle Marcie carries in her bag at all times]Marcie: Well you never know when you’re gonna be up the creek. Dr Osley: It’s ready… Eldritch: And the testing ground? [Osley looks at the computer screen]Dr Osley: What’s this? Eldritch: A school! Dr Osley: Sir, that’s madness. A school? The teachers, the parents – it’s too open, too public! Eldritch: It’s perfect! Dr Osley: They’ll find out what we’re doing! Eldritch: Only when it’s too late. It’s already too late. Nothing in the world can stop me now. Reet: What do you mean “something in the air”? Marcie: Something wrong, I don’t know what, something just out of sight. Thomas: It’s Mondays. Mondays are always wrong. Mondays are a crime. Reet: The only good Monday is a Monday in bed! Marcie: Well you two are no help! All you can do is quote Garfield T-shirts. Think for a moment. Thomas: But everything’s normal. Marcie: Normal? Normal is for the comatose! If I’m to teach you two anything it’s this: wherever you are, whoever you are, there is always a strangeness in things. You just have to know where to look! [Miss Maitland approaches the Behemoth and touches the restraint. Arcs of electricity fly to her – she screams, but is unharmed]Marcie: You knew that would happen! Eldritch: She’s a teacher. She’s taught herself a lesson. And I'll end on a bit of a long one, but it's possibly one of my favourite speaches of all time, be it fictional or not: Pendragon-Behemoth: Instructions…Eldritch: Let us begin. Marcie: Begin what, Mr. Eldritch? What’s your plan? Inga: I’ve told you. Marcie: His plan. Eldritch: Such a clever little girl. How is it that you know so much? Marcie: I watch a lot of TV. Inga: But Mr. Eldritch is the leader of our cause! Eldritch: No, not quite. My vision of the future is rather more simple. There will be no new age. Only a Dark Age. [Eldritch steps up to the stage, and places hand on the Behemoth]Miss Maitland: No don’t! [Electricity arcs all over Eldritch, but he is completely unharmed]Eldritch: The Behemoth was built to destroy. Therefore it will destroy. The world will destroy itself. I will only turn events to their rightful conclusion. Man invented these weapons, now he shall die by them. The light shall shine out from this point, from the hall of children, the hot, nuclear light of destruction. Inga: You promised us, why are you doing this? Eldritch: [Takes hand off the Behemoth, but sparks still jump around his body] Because I can. Because it’s time. The end of the 20 th Century. Miss Maitland: But what can you gain from this? Eldritch: The world will explode, into light and fire and wind. And then nothing. That’s what I will gain, teacher. Chaos. Pendragon-Behemoth: Instructions…Eldritch: Behemoth, I have your instructions!
Yup, quite a few. But I love them. I also had them in a file from TV.com, so that saved a bit of time ! Being Who fans, I'm particularly interested to see what ICWP and Hail think of these quotes...
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Post by Gouki on Aug 10, 2006 18:19:20 GMT -5
"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson here is never try." - Homer Simpson
"Got milk? Then you are a human and must be killed." - Futurama.
The syphilis will make you blind and insane, but it won't kill you. The small poxs will do that." - Anya.
Leela: Now if you two are finished being stupid, I can get on with this. Fry: Well, I had more. But you go ahead.
Prof Membrane: He's not trying to raise the dead again, is he!? Always with the dead, that boy! Dib: Noooooooooooo!!! Prof Membrane: Son! There'd better not be any walking dead up there! Dib: It's nothing to worry about, dad! And I said I was sorry about that!
Dib: How can he be Santa?! ZIM: Uh, I have robot elves. Guy: But he's got robot elves just like in the stories! Dib: What stories say Santa has robot elves??!! Guy: Um, all of them.
Sludgy: But Dib and ZIM were wrong, for Santa wasn't destroyed. Little Kid: You mean in the hearts and minds of us all? Sludgy: No, silly, in space gathering power! And every Christmas he comes to destroy the Earth! *alarm sounds* Sludgy: Here he is now! Children, raise the sheild! *Santa attacks and giant robotic trays pop up holding milk and cookies*
Dib: And what about that escaped gorilla you thought was Santa last year?? Man: That wasn't Santa? *sobs hysterically*
GIR: You're on fire! ZIM: Am I? Oh well...
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Post by ICWP on Aug 10, 2006 19:55:27 GMT -5
Being Who fans, I'm particularly interested to see what ICWP and Hail think of these quotes... Alright, alright, I'll admit you've caught my interest. So, is there anywhere... convinient, to watch the show (I don't suppose it's being repeated anywhere. Is there anyplace offline that'll be likely to have the DVDs?)? As for more quotes... Shigeru Miyamoto, pretty much Nintendo's most respected game developer: "What if everything that you see, is more than what you see? The person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it or accept that there is more to the world that you think."A favourite Shakespeare quote of mine, from Macbeth: "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle, Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury Signifying nothing."...And that's all I can be bothered to dig up tonight.
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Post by Islander on Aug 11, 2006 10:37:28 GMT -5
Being Who fans, I'm particularly interested to see what ICWP and Hail think of these quotes... Alright, alright, I'll admit you've caught my interest. So, is there anywhere... convinient, to watch the show (I don't suppose it's being repeated anywhere. Is there anyplace offline that'll be likely to have the DVDs?)? Nope, it's not being repeated anywhere, at any time. Offline? Shame, it's a snip to get it off Amazon. Offline ... well, I'd try HMV, they're usually pretty well stocked. They're also bound to be able to order it in if you ask. Do try and see it, though - I think it's exactly the kind of thing you'll like . In fact, it's so easy to get it offline that I suggest you try somehow. Maybe get a friend to order it for you, and give him the money or something.
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Post by ICWP on Aug 11, 2006 10:43:09 GMT -5
I don't mind buying it online, I just usually can't be bothered I don't like the having to wait bit. Still, ordering it from somewhere unvirtual is slightly more off-putting, so I will go to Amazon at some point.
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Post by Gideon on Aug 11, 2006 10:54:08 GMT -5
From Family Ties
(Scene - Steven comes home to find that Alex, Mallory and Jennifer have turned the house into a hotel while he's been away.)
Alex: I can explain everything.
Steven: Oh can you? Can you explain the valet parking in the driveway? The flashing vacancy sign in front of the house? The billboard on Route 41?
(and then a bit later)
Steven: Alex, parents are conditioned to put up with a few minor accidents when they leave their children home alone. A broken vase, spilt milk on the rug. There was a kangaroo in my living room.
Alex: He was just here for the party, Dad.
Steven: Then I guess I'm overreacting.
And another one from Frasier:
1: (Scene - Frasier is resonding to a caller on his radio show)
Frasier: Roger, at Cornell University, they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunnelling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem.
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Post by ICWP on Aug 11, 2006 11:26:13 GMT -5
From The Office:
"It's like an alarm clock's gone off, and I've just got to get away. I think it was John Lennon who said: 'Life is what happens when you're making other plans,' and that's how I feel. Although he also said: 'I am the Walrus, I am the eggman,' so I don't know what to believe."
"There are limits to my comedy. There are things that I'll never laugh at. The handicapped. Because there's nothing funny about them. Or any deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go 'ooh, look at him, he's not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced.' Yeah, well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. ...Unless he's not, it's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones."
"What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It's the people, investment in people. My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by seventeen per cent, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No. It was a young Greek guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went, 'Mr. Brent, will you be the Godfather to my child?' So... didn't happen in the end. We had to let him go, he was rubbish. He was rubbish."
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Post by adam on Aug 11, 2006 13:13:59 GMT -5
"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle, Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury Signifying nothing."
I love that too! I attemted to memorize it but gave up whilst learning macbeth!
From Will and Grace: Grace: Im hungry [or something like that] Will: Wanna grab a little Italian? Grace: OK Will:Fine, but lets eat first
From Oliver Beene: Older Oliver talking to audience: Years later I discovered I had just witnessed my parents having sex and was appropiatly discusted.
"They have the internet on computers now?" - Homer Jay Simpson
From Simpsons when Bart and Lisa are trying to get out of cleaning the garden whilst holding week clippers:
Bart: Lisa quick cut my hands off! Lisa: [Angry] No! Then who will cut off my hands? Bart: OK . You cut my hands half way off and then I'll have enough strenth to cut your hands off. Marge: [Angry and shouting] GET TO WORK!
"Me fail English? Thats unpossable!" - Ralf Wiggam
Ill have to try to remember more. thats the thing with good quotes. I never remember them. We accept the nature of the reality presnted to us - The Truman Show
"Welcome to my world of knowing" - Bill Bailey QI
[To Alan Davies]" Does all your information come from overheard conversatins in pubs" [Or similar] - Bill Bailey QI
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Post by ICWP on Aug 11, 2006 14:21:13 GMT -5
Every Pot Noodle pun from that immortal episode of Have I Got News For You:
Vegetarian version in Korea: Not Poodle For crack addicts: Pot Pot Noodles Cambolian Dictator: Pol Pot Noodles Musical version: Top of the Pop Pot Noodles For cranberry lovers: P*** Pot Noodles For babies: Cot Noodles In Lancishire: [Self explainatory...] The one you eat in caves: Pot Hole Noodles The one the police eat in their cars: Shot Noodles When you've got a cold: Snot Noodles Based on I Can't Believe It's Not Butter: Well **** me, it's Pot Noodle Deputy Prime Minister: Prescott Noodles New Eastenders one: Dot Noodles The one that's anonymous: What Noodles? On the boat: Yaught Noodles How long's Pot Noodle been going?: Since the year Dot Noodle
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Post by Islander on Aug 11, 2006 17:10:22 GMT -5
HA! Best episode ever. Got it on tape. Thrice.
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Post by lazerxangel on Aug 11, 2006 17:25:40 GMT -5
This is a more classical quote rather than a movie/book quote but it's still my favorite
"Out of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." -Mark Twain
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Post by ICWP on Aug 11, 2006 18:13:39 GMT -5
HA! Best episode ever. Got it on tape. Thrice. ...Thrice? You taped it thrice? Erm... why? I have it on tape, as well. On one tape. One. Lee Mack, on tonight's The Law of the Playground: "I've brought in a couple of my old school reports, actually. This one says: 'Lee will soon realize that wasting his time fooling around is going to get him nowhere in life'. And this one here... Oh no, sorry, that's my BAFTA."
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Post by Islander on Aug 11, 2006 18:19:55 GMT -5
HA! Best episode ever. Got it on tape. Thrice. ...Thrice? You taped it thrice? Erm... why? I have it on tape, as well. On one tape. One. Actually, I misscounted - only twice . I have a habit of loosing recordings, so if I record things more than once, I'm safer.
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Post by adam on Aug 12, 2006 8:00:35 GMT -5
Yes loved the Pot Noodle stuff. I saw the Law of the Playground yesterday and laughed at that bit. "I know that human being and fish can coexist peacfully" - George W. Bush
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