Post by Islander on Sept 3, 2006 14:18:29 GMT -5
From Red Dwarf:
[Lister stands, blowing bubbles from bubble gum]
Holly: Busy, Dave?
Lister: Well, yeah, I am, actually!
Holly: Oh. Then you won't want to know about the supralightspeed fighters that are tracking us.
Lister: What?!?
Holly: I'll leave you to your bubble blowing, mate.
Lister: No, Holly. Hol! Come on!
Holly: They're from Earth.
Lister: That's three million years away!
Holly: They're from the NorWEB Federation.
Lister: What's that?
Holly: North-Western Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
Lister: Me? Why? What for?!?
Holly: For your crimes against humanity.
Lister: You what?!
Holly: Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.
Lister: Did I?!?
Holly: Do you know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?
Lister: Yeah, they go moldy.
Holly: Your sausages, Dave, now cover 7/8ths of the Earth's surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years, nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB.
Lister: Why NorWEB?
Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.
Lister: A hundred and eighty billion pounds?!! You're kidding!
Holly: [Now wearing a Groucho Marx nose, glasses, and mustache] April Fool.
Lister: But it's not April!
Holly: Yeah, I know, but I could hardley wait six months with a red-hot jabe like that under me belt could I?
Lister: So you just made that all up then?
Holly: Yeah, bit of excitement for a while wasn't it?
Gah, Holly is so funny. You're not seriously telling me he was axed in series three are you?
ICWP, don't forget DARK SEASON!!!
Just thought it had been a while since I reminded you
[Lister stands, blowing bubbles from bubble gum]
Holly: Busy, Dave?
Lister: Well, yeah, I am, actually!
Holly: Oh. Then you won't want to know about the supralightspeed fighters that are tracking us.
Lister: What?!?
Holly: I'll leave you to your bubble blowing, mate.
Lister: No, Holly. Hol! Come on!
Holly: They're from Earth.
Lister: That's three million years away!
Holly: They're from the NorWEB Federation.
Lister: What's that?
Holly: North-Western Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
Lister: Me? Why? What for?!?
Holly: For your crimes against humanity.
Lister: You what?!
Holly: Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.
Lister: Did I?!?
Holly: Do you know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?
Lister: Yeah, they go moldy.
Holly: Your sausages, Dave, now cover 7/8ths of the Earth's surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years, nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB.
Lister: Why NorWEB?
Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.
Lister: A hundred and eighty billion pounds?!! You're kidding!
Holly: [Now wearing a Groucho Marx nose, glasses, and mustache] April Fool.
Lister: But it's not April!
Holly: Yeah, I know, but I could hardley wait six months with a red-hot jabe like that under me belt could I?
Lister: So you just made that all up then?
Holly: Yeah, bit of excitement for a while wasn't it?
Gah, Holly is so funny. You're not seriously telling me he was axed in series three are you?
ICWP, don't forget DARK SEASON!!!
Just thought it had been a while since I reminded you